the unspoken

My name is hard-to-pronounce. I'm old enough.

Here you can find some incoherent thoughts, (actually) useful thoughts, even inappropriate thoughts. It depends on how you see things.

Are you a chimpanzee or are you a monkey?

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2012

Afternoon, fellow humans!

It’s 2012. People are busy making resolution now, I’m sure of that, and as for me. I don’t think I will ever make any resolution list or anything like that because I’m just plain lazy. Though I don’t have resolutions, I have things I want to do this years. Like graduate, get out of this country, learn how to cook, and stuffs.

By the way, I’ve come to a conclusion about the relationship between my parents and me. I think it doesn’t work out really well. Honestly, it will never work out. While everybody is spending their time accepting me as I am, my parents are spending their time changing me to whatever they think is the best for me. I’m not complaining, I won’t complain. I understand perfectly why they never will able to treat me right. They both are youngest child in their family. They never knew what it feels like to be the eldest. All they knew are text-book theories:

The eldest supposed to be the one protecting.
The eldest supposed to know everything.
The eldest supposed to take care of all the younger.

Yes, I agree all of the above are right. At the same time I also agree that the eldest is also human. What’s the different between a first born and a second born? They both are human. So mommy and daddy, when I start clenching my jaw, that’s your cue to say nothing else and leave me or if you don’t want to, let me be the one who leaves, cause it doesn’t make it any easier for me or for you if we stay.

So. This new year I’m not hoping to fix anything between us. There’s too much hole to be fixed, it will never be more than okay. Let’s just make us better. Not fixed, just better. Thank you.

Sincerely, me.