the unspoken

Smells Like Freedom

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 04:48:46 -0400

Howdy.

Uh, probably not a great way to start a post, eh?

For those who wonders, I’ve been great and no, I haven’t died in a horrible fire, no, I haven’t been mistaken as a secret agent and murdered on spot, no, I’m still breathing, yes, I got a haircut.

My high school years unofficially ended yesterday, 1 PM precisely. I’m a free human being now and I just can’t wait to get my backpack, buy some tickets to wherever, and leave this town for a while. In fact, I’m gonna do exactly that. I bought myself a ticket this morning and gonna leave at tomorrow afternoon.

And while people is busy reminiscing with their high school life, I’m gonna busy travelling and leaving that kind of life behind. I’ve never really liked high school. It was fun, yes, but I’m sure as fuck wouldn’t miss it later. The people, maybe, the high school life, nah. But to be honest, I have something in my mind about ‘high school’ and ‘reminiscing’ in the same line, gonna post it later though cause now I gotta leave and live my double life as a secret agent.

Just kidding, I’m just not in the mood.

lolsofunny: coolest president ever even if you don’t like him...

Tue, 03 Apr 2012 09:35:44 -0400

lolsofunny:

coolest president ever

even if you don’t like him you gotta like him

The Funniest.

omg omg omg gonna name my son Tintin. Or maybe I’ll stick...

Sat, 24 Mar 2012 04:13:03 -0400

omg omg omg gonna name my son Tintin. Or maybe I’ll stick to Iker…

Rapid Hope Loss

Mon, 19 Mar 2012 10:53:13 -0400

So much for all the promises you made, they served you well and now you’re gone and they’re wasted on me.

I don’t quite understand how to identify the feelings I’m currently feeling. There’s so much of it, some I know, some I don’t. I noticed, anger and disappointment are one of them.

You weren’t so eager on giving up on me for the past seventeen years, why start now? Just so you know, I want it. I want it so badly.

I’ve never really think much about my future simply because I believe my future is six feet under the ground but then you told me that between my kind of future, there’s also another future. The ones with a possibility to make me happy. I listened to you and started to think about it, the future.

I designed it, as perfect and as possible as it could be. I showed you it, you agreed. So why do you stop agreeing? Did you say yes at the beginning just to shut me up? You don’t think it’s complicated to not give up on me, yet you think it is complicated to say ‘NO’ to me. I’m not afraid of rejection. If you want to reject me, say it from the very fucking start.

Right now, I’m slowly losing faith on the future. The ones, you said, with a possibility to make me happy. I don’t know which one is worse, the fact that I hang my future on a false hope or the fact that the one who put me in such predicament was you.

Another Day Another Task

Mon, 05 Mar 2012 09:44:25 -0500

Night humans!

Tonight will be the last night I’m having my parents bedroom as my own (they are coming back from Jeddah tomorrow night) and I think it would be nice if I wrote something on tumblr.

Right now, I have a lot of things in my mind. At first it was only practical exam, school exam, national exam, and my other unfinished school task (20 Surat and short story), BUT this morning my school mate said that the yearbook photo shoot will be held this Saturday and Sunday!!! Holy cow, I haven’t even finished my school thingy and yet something even more urgent came and ‘nyelak’ in the queue!

Oh God, the great Aulia Izzati is freaking out. I don’t know what to wear, I don’t know what my theme would be, I don’t know what pose should I do!

Laugh Out Loud. I got you there didn’t I? True, I don’t know what’s going to happen to me but I’m not freaking out. I’ll just take Friday off and go somewhere looking for nice clothes…

Suggestion on what I should do or wear on photo shoot?

P.S. Just Kidding. Don’t fill the answer box.

When someone comes into my room, and then leaves without closing the door again.

Sat, 03 Mar 2012 08:37:51 -0500

When someone comes into my room, and then leaves without closing the door again.:

Photo

Tue, 28 Feb 2012 10:45:54 -0500

One Last Time

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 11:17:56 -0500

Förstår du inte att jag älskar dig?

I promised you. I promised myself. I promised God. This is the last time.

You, don’t try to google what that means. I know you know what exactly it means. Right know I feel immensely disgusted by google translate. Life used to be much more interesting when we can talked with each other in a language no one else but us understand. So please, this once, help me out, don’t google that out, I beg you. I beg every single one of you.

One last time, I want to walk down the memory lane. Remember June 2011? Yes, that one time inChâtelet–Les Halles. We were both in a bad mood from the stunt I pulled earlier, when we finally sat on one of the benches waiting for the train, you shook my shoulder so hard that I became so damn dizzy. You screamed at me for being so stupid, reckless, careless, and practically everything that crossed your mind at that moment. Thank God the frenchies around us didn’t understand a thing until you said that, “förstår du inte att jag älskar dig?” and, voila, everybody stared at us. I was sure that I was forever mortified that night but now, the truth of your words ring a bell in my…as cliché as it sounds….heart.

“My head’s to blame for all my heart’s mistake.” -Parachute

Photo

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 06:17:39 -0500

How's It Going to Be

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 13:07:38 -0500

I wonder how’s it going to be when it goes down, how’s it going to be when your not around, how’s it going to be when you found out there was nothing between you and me. ‘Cause I don’t care how’s it going to be.

I get what I want. Ear canal infection which caused temporary deafness in one ear.

I get it all, silence, the one thing I craved since I met people. In a crowded place, everything is a whisper to me, I’m not complaining, I like it. You know what it feels like? It’s like being in a place where you own the world. Your own world, your own universe.

I’m in the mood of laughing and do you know what people said about people who laughs with them self? It’s borderline insanity.

The bitter taste of inxilon lingers in my mouth and I asked my self, how’s it going to be when you tasted like inxilon? Nobody would get it, their mind leads them to obscenity right away.

People said, “I don’t like writing things on blog or tumblr or any social networking site, it’s just too public and I don’t really want people to know my personal problems, I’m not an attention whore.”

YOU FUCKING LIAR.

Photo

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 05:39:12 -0500

"Roses in a bucket, I want you naked."

Tue, 14 Feb 2012 01:38:27 -0500

“Roses in a bucket, I want you naked.”

- Me, just now.

Laugh All You Want

Sun, 12 Feb 2012 02:41:00 -0500

I promised myself not to ever look back but here I am, looking back.

Everyday before now, I would look over my shoulder and you would be there. I would stare at you while you’re mouthing the words “go on”. I would turn my head, walk ahead, and never look back, until another day you grab my shoulder and say “you forgot something”.

You would make silly excuse to keep me from going and I would play along. You would state that you love me and I would tell you that you’re so full of shit. We would laugh while others would stare questioningly. What a twisted relationship we had.

Back to now, I’m looking back. I turn my head and I see your silhouette. I turn my body and I still see you, the only difference is that I don’t see your face. I see your back. I know this time you’re waiting for me to grab your shoulder and say “you forgot something”, but I just can’t do it. I don’t want to do it.

After this, everybody will tell me to do what I feel is right. No, not this time. I’m going to do what I think is right. We’re not kids anymore, aren’t we? I need to go. You need to go. You are a hindrance in my life just like I am a burden in your life.

In the end, we will be the one who laughs. We will laugh at everyone who told us to be together and ask them “do you really think that it’s possible to marry yourself?”

Photo

Sat, 11 Feb 2012 00:23:42 -0500

Starbucks’ Commercial Another reason to ditch school...

Thu, 09 Feb 2012 08:07:26 -0500

Starbucks’ Commercial

Another reason to ditch school next Tuesday.

Do You See What I See?

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 09:33:00 -0500

It was always you, blocking me from the outside world as if I’m an expensive fragile china doll.

It was always you, blocking yourself from my touch as if I’m a deadly contagious virus with no cure.

It was always you, blocking everyone else from getting closer to me as if you’re afraid to lose a prized possession.

What am I to you? A child, a girl, a woman, a pet, a thing, a possession?

Say, do you hear what I hear?
Say, do you know what I know?
Say, do you see what I see?

From behind these bars you built around me, I hear people screaming at me for being so careless while in fact, you wiped away my ability to care.

From behind these walls you built around me, I know things I’m not supposed to know and it pains me to know that.

From behind these glass windows you built around me, I see you.

If only you know that the equivalent of you is evil. At the same time, angel. You saved me from the big bad world, you saved me from inanity, you saved me from nasty surrounding. Too bad, you can’t save me from myself.

Photo

Thu, 02 Feb 2012 06:20:02 -0500

just a 'private' bitch

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 08:53:00 -0500

Aulia: and when we're older we're going to have a getaway house
Aulia: it's either on a secluded hill or a private bitch
nilam: a private bitch..... BITCH
Aulia: beach
Aulia: HAHAHAHA
Aulia: I'M LAUGHING
nilam: OF COURSE ME TOO

Package

Tue, 31 Jan 2012 04:12:39 -0500

First, I’m gonna make sure you read this. Second, I’m gonna explain why I write this. Third, I’m gonna write what I’m going to write at first.

If you see this, the first thing is succeed.

I’m writing this here because I know no other way to contact someone without directly telling them. Want it or not, I have to publish it publicly.

I know you’re trying not to be a stranger and I’m happy that you’re actually putting an effort into this. Maybe this will go on forever until one day we will meet and there will be nothing left unspoken between us. There’s so much I want to say but I don’t want to look like a talker that I am now. Just so you know, I’m trying to be what I used to. It was hard at first but I realized what made it hard was the fact that I hadn’t got past the barrier I built around me. It was not people’s fault I became bitter, it was also not my fault either. Thanks to you, I learned that not everybody knows the truth and not everything has to happen because of someone’s fault. Maybe there’s no one to blame, life happens.

Thank you for the package.

END.

I had a dream.....where I met Patrick

Fri, 27 Jan 2012 20:47:54 -0500

and Spongebob’s real name is hanukkah. It was awesome.